Ponies of Grimrock
by Homage
Summary: Four individuals convicted of terrible crimes have been sentenced to the harshest punishment in Equestria: They will be forgiven of their crimes and then thrown into Mt. Grimrock, a near death sentence, as nopony has ever made it out of the deadly dungeon alive. Will the power of friendship be enough to spare them from the jaws of doom?
1. A Death Sentence

Homage, 2

**Ponies of Grimrock  
By Homage**

Prologue: A Death Sentence

"The four of you have been found guilty of heinous crimes by the Royal Equestrian Court. You know the charges which have been brought against you. Now, for your misdeeds, you would normally receive the harshest punishment in Equestria: death."

Princess Celestia stood tall on the peak of Mt. Grimrock, accompanied by Princess Luna and flanked by several royal guards. Four chained figures sat in front of them, adjacent to a large pit, awaiting their punishment.

Luna added to her sister's speech: "However, due to the mercy of your Princesses, you will be given a chance at redemption. You shall be forgiven for your atrocities, immediately followed by being thrown into the mountain. If the four of you can make it out alive, you will be allowed to live out your lives, as free individuals."

Twilight Sparkle sat chained next to three others, eyes full of tears. Nopony had ever left Mt. Grimrock alive. It was essentially a death sentence, especially since Celestia had binded her and the other three with enchanted chains that prevented teleportation.

She whimpered a bit, looking up at her former mentor. "Please... Princess..." she choked through her tears.

Celestia looked away. She couldn't bear to see her former student like this. "I'm... sorry, Twilight..." she replied, still not looking the unicorn in the eyes. "It... has to be done."

Luna finished with, "Let it be known that on this day, these four individuals were pardoned for their crimes." She finished with a nod to the guards.

The alicorns turned their backs on the prisoners, heading back to the airship used to reach the peak. The guards began to push the prisoners toward the edge of the pit. They tried to resist, but the guards were simply too strong. The first prisoner, a large, red stallion, tumbled over the edge. The other three quickly followed, as they were shackled together.

Twilight Sparkle was the last to fall. As she futilely clutched the rocky lip of the dark, gaping maw, she cried out. "Please... Princess!"

Celestia either didn't hear, or just didn't acknowledge her former student's plea. The weight of all four was simply too much for Twilight to handle with her short forelegs. Her hooves slid off the edge, and all four plummeted into the gloomy darkness.


	2. Into the Dark

Chapter 1: Into the Dark

The four shadowed figures coughed at the dust from their impact to the hard cobblestone floor. In reality, they had only fallen a single story. But the room they found themselves in was completely devoid of any outside light. Cobblestone walls covered with moss and some type of green mold greeted them on all sides, save for one tunnel blocked by solid iron bars. The smell of must was overpowering. A single flickering torch on a far wall illuminated the room.

Twilight Sparkle was the first one to stand up. "Well," she remarked, looking at the other three figures, "at least we didn't die from the fall."

The smallest one looked at her. "But now what, Twilight? We're stuck in this cell," he stated, pointing at the metal grates that barred the only apparent exit, and then at the pile of pony bones in the corner.

"Oh, come on, Spike, there's got to be a way out of this. Don't be so negative," Twilight quickly repiled, a manic grin spreading across her face.

Spike whispered to the large stallion, "Uh oh, watch out, denial Twilight incoming."

"Eyup."

Twilight didn't seem to hear. "Come on, everyone, let's go!" She took one step, then felt her chains stretching taut, pulling her back.

"I don't think you're going anywhere like that," said the large, horned figure, who had finally risen to his hooves. "We're chained together, remember?"

"Oh yeah..." said Twilight. Turning around, she looked at the tall, bipedal creature chained next to Big Macintosh. He definitely wasn't a pony. He had two horns on the sides of his head, cloven hooves on his legs, and... hands? He also had a ring through his nose. Twilight had learned from her books that he was a minotaur, but she had never actually met one.

"I'm Twilight Sparkle," she said, holding her hoof out.

"Iron Will's my name, and training ponies is my game!" he boldly announced, shaking her hoof with a... well... _iron_ grip.

Spike piped up. "Hey, aren't you the same Iron Will who trained Fluttershy and turned her into a crazy overly assertive monster that..."

"Shush, Spike!" Twilight exclaimed, shoving a hoof over his mouth. "If we are going to work together," she whispered in his earhole, "we need to get along. And bringing up past grudges won't help."

"Fine, fine..." Spike grumbled. "I'm Spike," he said to the minotaur.

Big Macintosh introduced himself as well.

"Alright, now that we all know each others names, how about we find a way out of this cell?" Twilight proposed.

The four of them spent the next few minutes attempting to find a way to move without falling over. However, after a while, they all got the hang of it, moving together as a square, with Big Macintosh in front left, Iron Will in front right, Spike in rear left, and Twilight in rear right.

Before approaching the gate, however, they took a walk around the cell. Their search revealed a large, thick vest wrapped around the pony bones in the corner.

"Ewww... this is so gross..." complained Twilight after putting on the heavy clothing. "Somepony died in this." Spike chuckled at her squeamishness.

"We do what we must, and don't make a fuss!" exclaimed Iron Will, eliciting a raised eyebrow from Spike and Big Macintosh. He quickly added, "It means you shouldn't complain, it will provide better protection than just your bare hide. Who knows what we might encounter down here?"

Spike's eyes widened. "Maybe... zombies?"

Twilight sighed. "Not this again... Spike, nopony knows what lives inside this mountain. Nopony's ever come out alive to tell about it. But there's no reason to believe that zombies..."

Their conversation was interrupted by a huge tremor. The walls shook as the entire mountain groaned and rumbled. Dust and bits of rock fell from the ceiling. The four were knocked down by the sudden earthquake. Then, as quickly as it had started, the tremors stopped. The walls went back to normal as the dust settled around the prisoners sprawled on the floor. They got up as a group, synchronizing their actions perfectly.

Big Macintosh was the first to speak, "Well, as pleasant as this has been, maybe we should, I dunno, get going?"

"Yeah, let's get out of here!" Spike added, grabbing a hoof-sized rock that had come loose from the ceiling.

Noticing the dragon's improvised weapon, Iron Will asked, "What are you going to do with that? Kill zombies?"

"If I have to," Spike replied seriously.

Iron Will rolled his eyes. "Sure, kid. Just make sure to aim for the head."

Big Macintosh chuckled at this little exchange. Twilight simply facehoofed.

The four of them made their way toward the iron bars. The nearby torch flickered, the orange glow reflecting off of the semi-lustrous metal. An engraving next to the bars read, "Rot in this cell or take the torch." It was written in an old form of Equestrian: still legible, but outdated.

"Well," Twilight started, shakily. "Is everypony ready?"

"Sure, Twilight!"

"No fear!"

"Eyup!"

Twilight nodded to Big Macintosh. He took the signal and gripped the handle of the torch in his teeth, removing it from its holder.

There was a small click as the mechanism came to life, raising the bars and opening the path ahead.

"Here goes nothing..." Twilight muttered as the four ventured into the unknown.


	3. Scratching the Surface

Chapter 2: Scratching the Surface

The four prisoners walked down the dimly lit cobblestone hallway, guided by Big Macintosh's torch, in near total silence. Only ambient dungeon sounds could be heard: the dripping of water, the faint scurry of rodents, and a distant sloshing noise that they couldn't identify.

"Maybe... it's the zombies scratching at the walls, trying to get to first fresh meat they've seen in ages..." Spike mumbled.

Twilight was too exasperated to argue with him. "Yeah sure, zombies totally sound like that... While you're at it, maybe they brought their mummy friends to join in the walking buffet."

Spike was not amused. "Come on Twilight, this isn't a pyramid! There are no mummies here! Besides, mummies don't eat you, they just steal your body parts."

Iron Will grasped his aching ears with both hands. The constant bickering was giving him a headache.

Big Macintosh finally interrupted the two. "Uh, guys... there's a gate up ahead."

They had already passed two gates, not counting the first. This one was different, however, because there was no chain hanging next to it for them to pull. A sign next to the metal grating said, in the same old-style Equestrian, "Loose rock".

Spike looked down into his left claw. He attempted to put two and two together, and threw his rock at the iron bars with all his strength. Which didn't amount to much. The stone bounced harmlessly off of the metal with a clang, and clattered to the floor.

Twilight Sparkle thought about the problem too, coming with several possibilities. She voiced the most logical one. "Everypony, maybe it means there's a button hidden under a rock somewhere. Let's take a better look around."

As the four turned around in the narrow hallway, Spike's spade-shaped tail brushed against the wall. In the near-silence of the dungeon, they all heard the clicking sound.

The door began to open, the iron gate retracting into the ceiling with a loud clank.

Spike, being the closest to the sudden noise, shrieked, before regaining his composure. "Eh... I mean... Look! I found a secret button and opened the door! I knew it was there all along!"

The four of them took a closer look at the small bump in the wall. It looked like one of the cobblestones had broken and a piece was jutting out, almost as if it was about to fall out.

Twilight smacked her head with her hoof. "Of course! Loose rock! Good job, Spike! My number one assistant!"

Spike beamed at Twilight. His smile could have lit up the dungeon. Even in their horrible predicament, he just couldn't feel bad knowing he had Twilight's approval.

Unfortunately, the sloshing was getting louder.

"Uh... Twi? What's that thing?" Big Macintosh pointed at the slowly approaching shape with a hoof.

"I'm not sure... it's too far away," Twilight responded, squinting at the blurry blob. As it drew closer, however, they saw details... eyestalks, a big green shell, a trail of slime...

It didn't take a lifetime of studying to know that it was a snail. However, snails weren't normally the size of a full grown pony!

Twilight tried to calm the group by assuring them that snails were completely vegetarian.

"Uh, Twi, I dunno much about dungeons... but I know that growing apple trees takes sunlight. And in case you haven't noticed... there ain't any down here."

Twilight gulped. Big Mac was right of course... Still... maybe it ate fungus? Or cave moss?

The oversized mollusk reared back, exposing a wide mouth filled with hundreds of razor-sharp teeth.

The four got ready for the fight. Spike had reaquired his rock, and aimed it carefully. Twilight got a spell ready: a burst of fire hot enough to burn the creature enough to send it slithering back where it came from. Iron Will and Big Macintosh braced themselves for the monster's charge.

The creature did indeed charge the group... though at a rather snail-like speed. Big Mac pummeled it with his hooves while Iron Will attempted to hold its head down, preventing it from using its teeth. The snail writhed violently while Big Mac delivered blow after blow to its rock-hard shell.

Spike threw his rock at the snail, hitting one of the eyes. The eye burst, splattering the two fighters with vitreous humor.

Twilight was horrified by the violence. It was just a poor snail and they were all ganging up on it. It hadn't even hurt them at all...

Almost as if on cue, the slippery snail wiggled right out of Iron Will's grip, biting his forearm with its terrible teeth. He yowled in pain and yanked his arm back. A small chunk of flesh was missing, the surrounding area ripped and torn by the monster's teeth. Blood dripped from the huge mollusk's mouth; it was hungry for more. It lunged at them, its destroyed eyestalk hanging limply as it bared its maw. They stepped backward as a group, dodging the attack.

That was all Twilight needed to see. Her doubts about the creature's intentions removed, her horn glowed as fire engulfed the snail. It shrieked in pain as its flesh slowly cooked with a sickening crackling sound.

Big Macintosh delivered the coup de grâce directly to the creature's back. The shell finally broke, a long fissure forming from head to tail. Slime poured out of the exposed innards as the creature fell dead.

Twilight couldn't take her eyes off the smoldering mess. She... had just killed a living creature. Well, technically, Big Macintosh did... But she was an accomplice to this... murder.

Her guilt quickly turned to outrage as Iron Will bent down to rip pieces off of the monster corpse.

"WHAT IN EQUESTRIA ARE YOU DOING?" she screamed at the hunched minotaur.

His reply came calmly. "It smells good, and I don't know about you, but I'd rather not starve to death in this place."

He handed a slice of roasted snail to each of them. Spike wasn't fussy about it (dragons are omnivores after all), but Big Mac and Twilight just stared at him in disbelief.

Iron Will sighed. "If the going gets tough, you gotta live rough."

Twilight changed the topic. "Let me see your arm." Iron Will did so.

"Oh... that's... um... not _so_ bad..." she gagged, giving away the already thinly veiled lie. The wound wasn't bleeding, but was oozing some sort of yellow fluid. The area around the bite was covered in tiny cuts and what appeared to be burns.

"Apparently their bite is acidic," Twilight remarked. A wound like that must be extremely agonizing. She gained a new respect for Iron Will, to be able to lecture them through the pain as if nothing was wrong.

She pointed her horn at Iron Will's arm. It was slowly enveloped in a purple glow which spread to the wound. "It's a healing spell," she explained. "It will heal most forms of injuries, even critical ones. However," she noted, "it takes time to work. If any of us get injured, we will need to take a rest for a while to heal up. I'm going to cast the spell on the rest of us as a preventative measure."

Twilight spent the next few minutes doing so, her purple magic field encompassing Big Macintosh, Spike, and herself.

Iron Will looked at his arm when they had finished. Already the burns had healed, the cuts closing up before his eyes. The main bite site was no longer oozing, and it didn't hurt anymore. It just itched. A lot.

The four ventured further into the dungeon. They encountered three more snails along the way. They dealt with them much the same as before; Iron Will held them down while Big Mac punched it, Twilight burned them, and Spike pelted them with rocks (he had picked up several more). They harvested the meat from each snail they killed, storing the slimy steaks for later. With more combat experience under their belts, the prisoners' skills improved. Like they were ready to take on greater challenges.

They found themselves standing in front of a staircase, the bottom of the steps still dark as the light from Big Macintosh's torch was unable to reach the bottom. Before descending to the next level, however, Iron Will reached into a nearby alcove and grabbed the prize within: a rock tied to a stick. A crude club, perhaps. Still, a crude weapon was better than no weapon: the cudgel was harder than his fists.

The group took a deep breath as they went down the stairs.


	4. Pebbles and Pressure Plates

Chapter 3: Pebbles and Pressure Plates

The prisoners reached the bottom of the stairs, and found themselves in a room that looked exactly like the one above. The walls were made of the same mossy cobblestone, the floor was just as broken and dank, and it had an identical musty smell.

"Not a lot of variety in the decorations. I wonder who designed this place..." Twilight Sparkle remarked.

"Ahh Trwi?" Big Macintosh mumbled through his torch, spitting it out on the ground. "Ya don't need fancy decorations in a prison." He pointed at some hanging chains attached to a nearby wall.

Well, there was something new. Twilight smiled. "Good catch, Big Mac! If we weren't fighting for our lives, I would love to research this place. So many ancient secrets buried down here..."

They walked down the open corridor to the left. They came upon another path that branched off to the right.

"Well? Which way?" asked Spike.

Twilight decided they shouldn't stray from the straight path unless it was necessary, since it was easier to retrace a straight path. The others agreed. Twilight silently wished she had some graph paper so that Spike could record a map for them.

It was just her luck that she happened to spot a piece of parchment lying on the ground.

"Wait, everypony!" she cried out. They all stopped as she levitated the paper off the ground, turning it over in her magic field.

Well it wasn't graph paper. It seemed to be a letter written in the same Old Equestrian from the signs. Twilight told this to her companions, then began to read it as they walked.

I have been stuck in these dungeons for two days now. I have been fighting off snails and running and hiding from bigger things. I'm recording these notes to help everyone unfortunate enough to be stuck in this place after me. Look for more of my notes, they may save you from the horrors awaiting you below.

Here's what I have learned to date: The snails are the least of your concerns

Twilight gulped. Those terrible monsters were the weakest thing in here? Regaining her composure, she continued reading the letter out loud to her companions.

for there are far worse things than monsters. Hunger will kill you more easily than any monster. Luckily, I have discovered two food sources. The flesh of the giant snails is perfectly safe to eat, and there is a type of edible mushroom which grows in this dungeon. It is called a Grim Cap; it is about the size of a hoof and has a bell-shaped, light brown cap with a dark brown stalk. Both the cap and the stalk are covered with small white dots. Make sure not to eat any of the other mushrooms here. They are all poisonous.

Also, make sure you get plenty of sleep. You don't want to fight monsters when you are already fighting fatigue.

Besides basic needs, I I can tell you that this dungeon contains traps and puzzles which must be overcome. They seem to reset themselves after a certain amount of time has elapsed, since I found all of the doors locked, yet there are signs that other ponies passed through. Keep your eyes peeled for trapdoors, pressure plates, and dart shooters. I'm sure there are many more trials ahead of you. Just keep your wits about you.

PS: The gate ahead is locked. The key can be found if you turn around and take a left at the intersection.

Root Rum

By the time she had reached the last section, they had already reached the aforementioned gate. Sure enough, it was locked. A keyhole was positioned on the wall next to it. The prisoners turned around and retraced their steps, stopping on the way to put the letter back where they found it.

"Root Rum intended for these letters to help _everyone_ who came here after her, not just the next one," Twilight explained.

"And you just assume Root Rum is a her?" Iron Will asked in annoyance.

"No... I just... well... writing letters is so considerate and all..." Twilight stammered, getting disapproving looks from all three of her male companions.

"Sexist..." Iron Will muttered as the four continued down the path to the left.

As they walked, they heard a clicking sound. Thinking back to her Daring Doo books, Twilight screamed at everyone to duck.

They got up after realizing that there was no dart shooter. Instead, they heard a clanking far off down the narrow corridor. As they stepped toward it, however, the clanking reversed, followed by a slamming noise. They walked a little further and saw a metal gate. Turning around to look behind them, they realized they had been standing on a pressure plate. Lighter in color than the rest of the tiles, it was also slightly raised and wasn't cracked.

Stepping back onto the pressure plate raised the gate, but as soon as they took a step toward it, the gate closed.

Spike thought of something. He placed one of his rocks on top of the pressure plate. It pushed down on the button just enough to raise the door. Twilight patted him on the head. He really was proving an able assistant.

Behind the gate was a larger chamber, about three times as wide as the hallway. Narrow pillars formed a line at the middle points between the walls, with just enough space for them to walk between them. Torches dotted the walls. As they walked through the opened gate, it slammed shut behind them. But they hardly noticed, because an all-too familiar sloshing noise rang out.

Two walls on either side of the chamber slid upward. A pair of snails emerged from the hidden panels, rearing back to expose their maws.

"Ok, guys... we can do this. Just don't let them corner us," Twilight advised.

"Eyup!"

"Let's do this!"

"We will not fail, we'll kick some tail!"

The snails slithered slowly toward the group, covering both sides of the chamber. The group moved to attack the one on the right.

As they closed in, Spike unleashed a flurry of rocks that chipped pieces off of the snail's shell. The ones that struck the head, however, bounced harmlessly off. Barring attacks to the eyes, blunt force could not harm the squishy body of the oversized invertebrate.

Twilight unleashed a fiery blaze that scorched the creature, filling their nostrils with the delicious scent of roasted snail.

However, the beast was far from cooked. It lunged at the closest prisoner. Big Macintosh easily evaded its chomping maw, and the poorly aimed attack hit the floor with a splat. Iron Will smashed the moss covered spiral with his cudgel, creating a dent the size of his hand with smaller cracks radiating outward. The broken piece fell out as he withdrew the weapon, revealing the pumping two-chambered heart within.

With surgical precision, Iron Will grabbed the pulsating organ with his free hand, twisted, and yanked hard. There was a horrible tear and a sick splattering noise as the monster's heart came free, spraying copious amounts of blue blood all over the minotaur as the creature died on the spot.

Watching in awe, the other three failed to notice the other snail flanking them. Iron Will's quick eye and even quicker counterattack wasn't enough to even slow it.

Time seemed to grind to a halt as the jaws closed around Spike's neck. The baby dragon's blood flowed out, staining the ground a dark crimson as he crumpled to the floor.

"NOOOOOO!" screamed Twilight in a grief-stricken rage. Her horn buzzed angrily as black sparks shot out. The room seemed to darken as the oversized snail was enveloped in a field of dark energy. It lifted from the ground, writhing as Spike's blood still dripped from its mouth.

The unicorn's eyes flashed red as the beast writhed violently. The other prisoners watched in horror, unable to stop their companion. The snail was thrashing extremely violently. Whatever evil spell she was using, it was causing an incomprehensible amount of pain to the creature.

A sadistic grin cracked Twilight's face as the snail exploded, covering everything in bits of shell, slime, and organs.

The change stopped as quickly as it had started. Her horn flickered and died as she knelt down to the dragon chained to her side.

"Spike! You're stronger than this! You're my number one assistant! Please!" she wailed, cradling the tiny purple figure in her hooves. She tried not to look at his neck. The acid had burned away nearly half of it, leaving a gaping, sucking hole that gushed blood with each shallow, labored breath.

A tiny, faint voice came from the dragon's lips. "Twi... light... I'm..."

His eyes closed as the last bit of air left his lungs in a final death rattle.

"No... Spike..." Twilight wept, burying her face in his tiny, unmoving chest.


	5. Confessions

Chapter 4: Confessions

Twilight knelt down on the hard tile, crying over her lost friend. Big Macintosh had tears in his eyes as well, but kept his composure. Iron Will showed no emotion whatsoever, but at least he gave Spike a moment of silence.

The iron bars at either end of the chamber had raised long ago, but none of them made any motion to leave. The loss of a companion had deeply shaken the three, especially since it had happened so quickly. They had been in Mt. Grimrock for less than a day.

The light flickered off the walls, reflecting off the tears that had dripped onto the cold, lifeless dragon. Each little pearl glistened with the memories of the countless hours the two had spent together: hatching him, helping her study, fetching books for her, sending and receiving letters to and from the Princess, delivering the Crystal Heart to defeat King Sombra and save the Crystal Kingdom... But most of all, she missed her longest friend. Besides Shining Armor, Spike was Twilight's closest and first real friend. Before she came to Ponyville, she had always confided her secrets and concerns in the little purple guy. He had stuck with her through thick and thin. Nothing had ever kept them apart before. But now he was gone...

Big Macintosh put a hoof on Twilight's heaving shoulder, gently setting the torch down on the floor. "It's... sniff... all... sniff... my fault..." the unicorn wept.

"Twi..." the stallion said softly. "I know he was your best friend, and I know how much he meant to you... But ya can't blame yourself for this. I mean, Iron Will wasn't even able to stop it with a direct –"

"You don't understand!" Twilight cried. "It's my fault he's in here in the first place!"

"Wait, what do ya mean, Twi?" Big Macintosh asked.

"Uh, Iron Will hates to interrupt," Iron Will interjected. "But there's a light up ahead. Could be a way out."

The other two looked toward the far end of the chamber. Indeed, there was a bright blue glow up ahead.

Too blinded by grief to think rationally, Twilight slung the corpse of Spike over her back, drying her eyes. She was going to see to it that he got a proper burial. She owed him at least that much. The three walked into the light.

The source of the incandescent glow turned out not to be an exit, but rather a large crystal rooted to the floor in the corner of the room. A lever on the wall near the gate proved to lower the iron bars, sealing off the room from any monsters that might creep in. A sign on the back wall read "Break room".

They found a rusted iron key in an alcove next to the sign. According to Root Rum's note, it was for the locked gate they had encountered earlier. But the trio mutually decided that they should take a rest and sleep for the night. Propping themselves up against the wall, with the crystal on their left, the group each ate a piece of roasted snail, the ponies a bit reluctant at first, before realizing how good it was.

"So, Twilight," Big Macintosh asked. "What was with all that stuff earlier about this all being your fault?"

A tear fell from Twilight's eye. Big Mac immediately added, "If it's a sensitive topic, I'd totally understand if

Twilight put a hoof up to silence him. "No, no," the unicorn said, wiping her eye. "I need to let it out. It all started about three months ago when I developed, a, well, obsession with King Sombra."

"Obsession?" Iron Will asked dubiously, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, more specifically, the magic he used," Twilight clarified, blushing.

"Ah," said Iron Will.

"Anyway, it was all fine and good until I tried one of the spells myself. King Sombra had been dabbling into the world of black magic: curses, evil, and hatred. Those kinds of spells corrupt the user. His frequent use of the forbidden sorcery is what caused him to become so cruel and enslave the crystal ponies he ruled over. It also twisted his appearance and gave him a shadowy aura wherever he went."

"Uh, that's interestin' and all, but what's it got ta do with ya'll getting thrown in Grimrock?"

"I'm getting there, I'm getting there," Twilight assured, continuing with her story. "Anyway, I acted stupidly and tried one of the spells. It was a mistake I will regret for the rest of my life. I don't really remember what happened, but I didn't notice any difference. I concluded the magic was useless and continued my studies. But two weeks ago, I took a visit over to Fluttershy's cottage... and I saw the most traumatizing thing I've ever seen in my life."

"What was it?" Iron Will asked, suddenly listening, as the story had finally perked his interest.

"I saw... a stallion..." Twilight sniffled, "doing... things... to her... And she was kicking and begging him to stop... but... he just wouldn't. At that moment... I lost control. I just felt a wave of anger sweep over me. I felt nothing but pure hatred for this horrible pony who had committed such a terrible act against my friend. I let it consume me. I lifted him up in the air and... killed him. Spike tried to clean up the mess and got caught. They just assumed he was my accomplice. You know the rest."

The other two weren't sure what to say. Big Macintosh finally thought of something. "You mean that thing you did to the snail... back there..."

"Yes," Twilight sighed. "Pure hatred."

"Well, to be honest, I expected somethin' like that. They don't give the death penalty for anythin' else. I'm guilty too," Big Mac admitted.

Twilight shuddered at the thought of what it had taken to drive this gentle giant to murder.

"Let me explain. Ya'll know that Applejack got herself a coltfriend a few months ago."

Twilight remembered. "Yeah, Twirling Lasso, right?"

"Eyup. Great stallion, loved the rodeo. He was nice, polite, fun, an all-around great guy. AJ and Lasso loved each other a lot, and I couldn't have been happier for 'em. But a month ago... I noticed... changes. All of a sudden, he started actin' real mean to everypony, and didn't seem to remember anypony's name. I smelled somethin' fishy, and when I saw him usin' some sort of magic on Applejack, I knew he wasn't really an earth pony at all. The magic field was green, a sign that he was a changeling accordin' to those pamphlets. Ya know, the ones the princesses gave out all over Equestria after the... incident at the wedding."

"He was a changeling? Why didn't you tell anypony? Twilight asked in horror.

"I didn't think anypony'd believe me," Big Mac shamefully admitted. "So, anyway, I decided one day I would take care of the problem myself. I snuck into his room at night and beat that bastard to death with my bare hooves. I don't regret what I did," he said. "I didn't know they could try you for murder of a changeling. A _changeling_."

"Um, Mac?" Twi spoke up. "When did this happen?"

"Let see... about nineteen days now?"

"Big Mac, the knowledge wasn't made public to avoid a panic, but... we caught that changeling three weeks ago. Sent him back where he came from."

"Sent him back? But that means..." Big Mac looked at his hooves. "Oh, sweet Celestia..." He broke into sobs. Twilight patted him on the back with a hoof.

Iron Will had pretty much stayed out of this story, not wanting to get involved. He knew what was coming.

"Iron Will?" Twilight slowly turned to the huge minotaur. "What did you do?"

You know what, fine. Iron Will had lived with this long enough, and since he had already been punished, there was no reason to keep it a secret.

"Iron Will's story is less... justified than both of yours. Iron Will is a motivational speaker, but before that... he ran with... well... some bad folks. We were called The Labyrinth, and we were the toughest, roughest organized crime gang around. Iron Will won't go into too much detail, but suffice it to say that he learned plenty about killing in his time with them."

Twilight recalled his calm and calloused behavior during their fights with the snails and the almost surgeonlike precision with which he smashed the shell and pulled the heart out.

Iron Will continued. "Iron Will was the muscle, the one who usually did the dirty work. He killed countless ponies, minotaur, griffins... you name it. Of course, they were all just scumbags who killed our crew or ripped us off. Or so Iron Will was told."

Big Mac nodded. He knew what it was like to be deceived.

"But one day, they asked Iron Will to kill a family who did nothing other than fail to pay protection money. Not just the bull, but his cow and calves as well. Iron Will couldn't bring himself to do it. It was just wrong. It made Iron Will take a look at the rest of his actions, and realize what he had become. At that moment, Iron Will decided to stand up for himself. Iron Will killed his fellow gang members and split for good. He wrote a book about being assertive based on his life, omitting anything incriminating of course. Iron Will traveled all over the world, giving motivational seminars to those who he felt needed it. Iron Will saw it as a form of atonement for his sins. Nothing is more dangerous than a sheep that blindly follows orders. But Iron Will's past eventually caught up with him... I guess I deserve it. Nothing could make up for all the lives I destroyed."

Disturbed by the former hardened criminal's confession, Twilight simply changed the topic. "Well, we've been in here quite a while, and I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired. With the gate closed, nothing's gonna get in here. Why don't we get some sleep?"

"Eyup."

"End of the day, let's hit the hay."

"Good night Spike," Twilight soft muttered, suddenly jolting her eyes open as she was painfully reminded of what had happened...

She closed her eyes again, but it was a long time before she fell asleep.

Meanwhile, while the three slept, the crystal began to emit a strange purple energy. The glowing aura formed into a tentaclelike appendage that made its way toward the lifeless body of Spike...


	6. Through the Valley of the Shadow

Chapter 5: Through the Valley of the Shadow

Spike opened his eyes. He reached up to grab his neck, but found there was no trace of the wound. All the pain was gone. In fact... he felt... warm. Looking around, all he could see was a bright blue light that strangely didn't hurt his sensitive eyes. He was unable to make out any distinct forms other than his own body in the intense radiance.

Spike tried to move around, but found his struggles got him nowhere. He was floating, but did not feel weightless. More like... he was being held.

"Hello?" he called out. "Anypony there? Twilight? Big Macintosh? Iron Will?"

Spike's cries went unanswered. He remained alone, bathed in bright light, unable to move from his current spot.

Suddenly, right in the center of his view, something began to take form. He squinted at the dark shape approaching his view.

Spike was unable to move away as the silhouette began to take form. As it approached, he realized that it was drawing _him_ closer, rather than moving toward him.

He saw details begin to form: it had four legs, a long tail, wings... and... a horn?

"Princess?" Spike called out, not sure _which_ princess he was talking to.

But as the alicorn approach, she wasn't one Spike had ever seen before. Her coat was the softest gold imaginable, like a buttercup in a beautiful meadow during the first months of spring. Her pure white mane flowed over her eyes and around her neck. Her tail was much the same, curling around and floating as if a breeze was blowing in the still air. Her eyes, sparkling in a color Spike couldn't recognize, held the most gentle expression, as if she had nothing but good intentions. The mysterious mare gave off an aura of love and kindness that was almost tangible. Spike gasped in awe as she spread her wings wide, basking him in even more radiant light. On her head sat a crown that would have put Celestia's tiara to shame. Precariously perched, it seemed not to care as her head leaned all about, not even tipping a bit. It sparkled with a thousand jewels of every possible color imaginable. Her cutie mark was what confused Spike the most. Such an important princess would be expected to have a great and inspiring cutie mark... yet... the picture on her flank was simple: a round, blue, shiny marble with small white flecks in it.

Spike immediately lowered his head in a show of respect for the regal pony. She stopped a few feet from the dragon, folding her wings and looking right at him.

"Spike the Dragon?" she quietly asked him. Her voice was as soft as Fluttershy's, but more pronounced and dignified.

"Yes, that is me, Your Highness," Spike answered, not raising his bowed head.

"My my... so polite," the alicorn replied, smiling.

Spike lifted his head up to look at the tall mare. "If I may ask," he inquired, waiting for her nod of approval before continuing, "Who are you?"

"Isn't it obvious?" the mare responded. "Do you remember what happened after the snail bit you?"

Spike rubbed his head. "Uhh... it hurt a lot... then it went numb, then I was cold... and then I fell asleep?"

The mare just gave him the gentlest look. Her face gave it all away.

Spike's eyes widened in horrible realization of what had happened. "No, no, no, no..." he cried, eyes tearing up. "I can't be dead, I just can't!"

He broke down into tears as the alicorn hugged him. "It's all right, it's ok..." she reassured him.

"No... it's... not..." he moaned through the sobs. "I can't leave my friends behind! They'll all be miserable and it just won't be the same without me around! Who will clean the library? Twilight would be buried in unorganized books by the end of the week, Rarity won't have anypony to help her dig gems... and... and..."

She rubbed his back while singing softly to him. He didn't recognize any of the words, but it made him feel a little better. Sniffling as he was gently released from the comforting embrace, he looked up into the mare's warm eyes. "Does this mean you're here to take me away? To take me to the afterlife?"

She chuckled as she rubbed his spiny head. "Oh, not now, Spike. It isn't your time. Your spirit is still in the physical world, trapped inside a Life Crystal until somepony lets it out. Amazing magic my little ponies thought up, there."

"Your little ponies?" Spike asked. "Does that mean you're-

"Yes, my son. I am the Great Queen, the Goddess, the Creator, the Beginning and the End. I have many names, but I am one and the same. But that's not important right now. What matters is this: your friends need you, and your time is almost up. Goodbye, Spike. You will see me again someday. I'll be watching you..."

"But wait! There are so many questions I have to ask!" Spike called out to the Queen as she drifted away.

But it was to no avail. The mare faded away into the bright light, her marble cutie mark disappearing from view as the world began to darken...

* * *

After several hours of much-needed rest, Twilight Sparkle woke up. The rest of the party quickly followed suit. Except one.

"Five more minutes," Spike grumbled.

"Get up, or I'll have to drag you along with me," Twilight threatened, almost automatically. She quickly realized what had happened.

"SPIKE! You're alive!" she shouted, scooping up the baby dragon in her hooves and squeezing him tightly.

"Ok, ok, I'll get up," Spike giggled, his words somewhat muffled by Twilight's embrace.

Big Macintosh joined in the hug. He didn't even dare to question the logic of the situation. He was just happy they had Spike back.

Iron Will, unaccustomed to getting up early, was still groggy. The light and sound dulled by drowsiness, he thought he saw the baby dragon being cuddled by the two ponies. But... he was alive. This didn't sit well with Iron Will. He had just watched Spike die, and now he was alive again, with no sign of the fatal wound whatsoever. Iron Will had already been fooled before, and many lives were taken because of it.

"Before we go on hugging and loving him," Iron Will gruffly announced, "How can we be sure he isn't a changeling?

He had a point. Releasing Spike from her grasp, Twilight realized that Iron Will's explanation made a lot more sense than anything else. Even though Spike was still chained to her, the changelings could have removed the body and slipped into the restraints with no problem in a liquid form.

Her horn glowed as she cast her anti-changeling spell. A bright purple beam from her horn washed over Spike. All three let out a sigh of relief as Spike failed to change form.

"So, then, Spike, if you're not a changeling, then how did you come back to life?" Iron Will asked rather bluntly.

Spike scratched his head. His memory was all foggy, like trying to remember a dream. The details just slipped away. "Umm... I dunno... something about a crystal, I think," he stated lamely.

"Like that?" Twilight pointed at the brightly glowing blue crystal behind him.

Spike turned around. The glow seemed familiar, like something from a memory long faded. "Maybe," he said hesitantly. "But I think I was inside of it."

"Of course!" Twilight shouted. "A soul anchor!"

"Uh... Twi? What's a soul anchor?" Big Macintosh asked.

The well-read unicorn proudly recited the exact definition. "A soul anchor is a contraption designed to amplify the natural spiritual eddies in order to consolidate and revitalize the life force energy of the recently deceased."

"Do what now?" Big Mac replied, his eyes crossed from all the big words.

"Who's Eddie?" Spike asked, also confused.

Iron Will facepalmed. "In Equestrian, please."

Twilight attempted to put it in laymare's terms as best as she could. "Ok, this is all theories and speculation, but: When a person dies, their soul leaves their body and goes to the Everafter-"

"Is this science or religion, Twilight Sparkle?" Iron Will gruffly remarked. This wasn't at all what he was brought up to believe.

"Roll with me on this," Twilight droned. "Anyway, the soul leaves the body so fast that it has almost no chance of returning. The few cases where it does are usually described as "miracles". Some arcane scientists believe there are these... things... called spiritual eddies.

"Think of souls leaving their bodies as dead leaves falling off a tree in autumn. Spiritual eddies are like the wind that pushes the leaves around as they slowly descend downward toward the ground. But, no matter how far the wind pushes the leaves, they will eventually reach the ground and stay there, rotting away to become part of the earth. Even if the wind was somehow able to blow the leaves back to the branches they came from, they would still fall off because they are no longer attached.

"Now, what if a fan could be placed to strengthen the wind enough that it could always blow back any leaves that fell off of a particular branch? And what if this fan also had an enchantment on it to reattach the dead leaves and turn them green again, to prevent them from just falling off again?" Twilight finished her lecture.

"So basically, they bring a body back to life and heal you?" Big Macintosh asked.

"In theory," Twilight quickly added. Nopony's ever been able to build one. And even if they did, the crystals only work when placed in the center of an eddy. Which we can't even prove the existence of, let alone find."

"Well, you have all the evidence you need right here, Twi," Big Macintosh pointed at the bored Spike, who was currently playing with his tail.

"Yeah, I guess so..." Twilight mused. "Of course, further testing would be out of the question."

Spike had tuned her out by now. Smart stuff wasn't his strong suit. He instead focused on a peculiar rock on the nearby wall. Reaching out to push it, it clicked, raising a wall in the chamber with a sound of grating stone.

"Hey! Look! Free stuff!" Spike called out, drawing the attention of the others. Walking to the opened alcove, they found two throwing knives, a Spike-sized thick leather vest (no more deadly surprise attacks for him!), heavy iron horseshoes and a spiked metal helmet for Big Mac, tough leather pants for Iron Will, and a spell tome for Twilight which taught her a light spell that would free Big Mac from carrying a torch. They also found the key they needed to open the locked grate.

Satisfied with their new gear, and ready for more adventure, the four of them pulled the lever near the door, raising the iron bars. As they walked through the chamber where they had fought the snails, Twilight snickered a bit. "Hey, Spike,"

"What, Twilight?"

"You died, and now you came back to life, so wouldn't that make you a-

It came around the corner. Rotten, putrid flesh hanging off the bones, with tattered bits of clothes and armor still stuck to the hide, the pony-shaped creature growled, turning to face them. The face was horribly decayed; the snout was completely rotted away. One ear was missing and a portion of the chin was showing, the flesh gone, revealing the exposed mandible. It was missing one eye. Maggots crawled in its empty socket. The intact, although partially desiccated eye fixed on the four prisoners as its mouth opened up in an unearthly moan.

"ZOMBIE!" Spike screamed.

Author's notes: G-d's cutie mark is a marble because I was making a reference to MIB. Look it up if you don't get it. And before you take something I wrote as offensive, remember that this is a FICTION. I purposefully left out Spike's questions (why did you create the universe, why do we exist, what is the true meaning of life, why is there evil in the world if You are good, etc.) because I didn't want this story to be about that sort of thing. Also, I don't think we as mortals should have any sort of right to try to answer those questions. But I do have some ideas about them: because, because, 42, evil is spread only by those who perpetrate it and allow it to happen. This is the only chapter where I will deal with this spiritual sort of stuff. From now on, if any characters die, we will only be following the ones who are alive. This is an adventure story, after all, not a lecture on spirituality. The reason I pretty much dedicated this chapter entirely to the Crystals of Life is because the game trivialized them so much. "Oh, here's a crystal that can bring a dead person back to life. Whoopity friggin' doo dah, look at this much more interesting walking mushroom monster!" Yeah, I think a crystal that can **beat death** is a lot cooler than a giant murderous salad topping which is incorrectly described in the manual as  
not quite animal, and not quite plant". Of course it isn't. It's a **fungus**. And Nintendo did evil mushrooms first, anyway. So yeah, underappreciated crystals. Anyway, keep following this story; I'll see you in chapter 6!


	7. Dem Bones

Chapter 6: Dem Bones

"Aim for the head!" Spike yelled, as he hurled both his knives at the slavering abomination. One glanced off the zombie's left front leg, doing nothing more than scratching it, but the other struck home, burying itself in the empty eye socket. Dislodged maggots fell to the floor, along with greenish-brown ichor that sprayed from the impact. The creature's shuffle toward the group was not hindered, however. It continued its slow stagger toward them, its jaw hanging wide open in a long moan.

Big Macintosh gave it a powerful blow with his ironshod left hoof, but the monster clearly was much more resilient than the giant snails. It didn't seem to feel pain at all. Instead, the zombie retaliated with its own strike. Much to everyone's surprise, it did not attack with a bite. Instead, it raised a hoof, which they now noticed had a rusty, serrated blade mounted on the tip, and brought it down in a long slash. The stallion grunted in pain as his leg was lacerated by the jagged edge. Blood trickled down from the ragged wound below his knee, his lightly-colored fetlock stained to match his coat.

Triumphantly groaning what could be best interpreted as a battle cry, the zombie struck out again, its blade shining red from the fresh coating of blood. However, the second blow landed on the stallion's spiked helmet, the rusted metal bouncing harmlessly off the hard steel. The weight behind the blow caused the creature to stumble for a moment. Big Mac took advantage of the vulnerability. The stallion lowered his head and charged forward. The row of long spines sunk deep into the zombie's emaciated abdomen. Big Macintosh deftly flicked his head back, the spikes ripping right through the creature's rotten flesh.

He stepped back as the creature stood, shocked, as the large slash from navel to chest dripped copious amounts of greenish-brown fluid. The zombie's remaining eye rolled back into its head as its guts spilled out, flooding the room with the putrid stench of a mostly decayed mass of what had once been a digestive tract. It fell down to the ground, dead.

Twilight retched at the vile odor, emptying her stomach of snail meat. The others turned away in disgust, however, Iron Will, began poking at the corpse with his cudgel.

"Hmmm... nope... ah ha!" he said as he tore open the stomach with the tip of his rock hammer. "No flesh in here! It's completely empty."

"Before I ask what in the wide wide world of Equestria you're doin' maybe we should get out of here? I don't want to be around that stinkin' mess for another second," Big Macintosh said to the minotaur.

They all nodded in agreement. The rusty blade the beast carried wasn't worth sifting though all that filth. However, before passing, Twilight levitated out Spike's throwing knives and returned them to him.

As they carefully moved around the carcass and walked down the corridor to the right, Twilight was the first to speak up. "So, Iron Will, you were saying that the stomach was empty?"

"Yep. Nothing at all inside."

"But maybe it just hadn't eaten in a while, and we were the first fresh meat it had seen in a long time?" Twilight asked.

Spike spoke up. This topic was his area of expertise. "Zombies don't digest their food, Twilight. It just sits in their stomach and rots. None of their organs work except their eyes, ears, and some of their nervous system. Possibly smell, too, but it's not confirmed."

"Even entertaining idea that zombies actually exist, you're saying this one doesn't eat flesh?" Twilight guessed.

"Exactly," Iron Will confirmed. "Which also means you won't turn into one if you get bitten. It also didn't need to have its head destroyed to die, which indicates it isn't really a zombie at all, at least as the media portrays them."

"Maybe some form of necromancy?" Twilight suggested.

The others just stared blankly at her horn.

"Oh, right..." she muttered, getting the hint. "Magic performed on the dead. In this case, reanimation." Silently, she wondered why it would be such a bother to them to learn just a little about magic. Just because they couldn't do it...

"But why would anypony want to create something so disgustin' and dangerous?" Big Macintosh asked.

"Reanimated dead aren't dangerous on their own. They blindly obey the orders of the one who resurrected them. Since it was armed, I would guess that it was put here to guard Mt. Grimrock."

The four prisoners arrived at the locked gate. Twilight levitated out the rusty iron key and slid it into the adjacent lock, turning it clockwise. The iron grate raised with a loud clanking. To her surprise, she was unable to remove the key from the lock. It seemed to be stuck, as if the mechanism was designed so that the key could only be used once.

The four walked through the doorway. It was dark beyond the gate. The illumination from Twilight's horn gave them a little island of light in the thick blackness. They came upon another grate. A chain hung from the right side. Iron Will grabbed it in his right hand and yanked hard. The gate raised obediently. However, as they stepped through, they heard the familiar groan of a stone wall sliding open behind them. They turned around to see three zombies stepping out of the walls and heading right at them!

Thinking quickly, Iron Will pulled the chain on the other side of the open gate. It snapped closed. The rotten monsters gathered against the gate, but could not open it. The four were safe.

"Good job!" Twilight said.

"Thanks," Iron Will replied.

The four kept walking. They approached the stairs to the next floor. They went down the steps into the unknown depths below.


	8. A Familiar Face

Chapter 7: A Familiar Face

The four went down the stairs to find themselves immediately accosted by two zombie ponies and a snail. Spike swiftly unleashed a small barrage of rocks at the snail, striking both its eyes and rendering it blind. With the snail incapacitated, the group could focus on the the bigger threat. The zombies shambled slowly toward them down the wide corridor. The smell of rotting flesh washed over the prisoners like a flood, causing Twilight's eyes to water. Spike threw a knife at each of the approaching monsters, which buried deep in their chests but did not cause them to stumble. Twilight's horn flashed as fire engulfed the zombies, burning off their skin and only adding to the horrid stench that was already overpowering.

They drew closer, raising their knives for a strike. Big Macintosh swung at the left one, the iron weight of his horseshoe adding the force of the blow. His attack took the burnt zombie's jaw clean off, green slime dripping out from the open wound. The zombie retaliated with a swing from its knife, landing a glancing blow on Big Mac's unprotected neck, leaving a jagged, vertical slit that trickled red.

The monster on the right raised its knife high for a downward slash. Iron Will positioned his cudgel to parry the blow, but the knife cut right through the flimsy wooden handle, striking Iron Will on the shoulder. Luckily, most of the force was absorbed by the impact with the cudgel, but the zombies' serrated blades tended to leave nasty wounds with the slightest blows. His cudgel useless, Iron Will was now forced to fight unarmed. Thinking back to how Big Mac was able to kill the first zombie, he lowered his head in a fierce headbutt and gored the monster on his horns. He slid his head back to rip the monster's head clean off, coating his horns with ichor. The severed head rolled around for a few seconds, snapping its jaws furiously before suddenly becoming motionless. The headless corpse slumped to the floor in a pile.

Big Macintosh was having some difficulty with his zombie. This one seemed to have better reaction time, as it was dodging most of his blows. Twilight's horn flashed again, unleashing a huge firestorm that engulfed the zombie. The heat wave from the magical attack blasted against the prisoners, singeing the eyebrows of the two in front. When the smoke cleared, nothing was left of the zombie but a charred pile of bones and ash. Its rusty blade glistened in the faint torchlight from the wall as Twilight's light spell flickered and died.

"Holy guacamole, Twilight!" Spike exclaimed. "That was awesome!"

Twilight blushed.

"Iron Will agrees. But why didn't you just do that from the start?"

Twilight sighed, "Because it is very magically draining. I don't think I'll be able to do any more spells for a while. Not even one as simple as a light spell."

The four turned around to finish off the blinded snail. Big Macintosh jumped, using his enormous weight to crush its shell. Iron Will harvested the meat, handing two portions of the rather fat snail to each prisoner.

Finally taking a good look around, the four realized that this part of the dungeon had a new design. The walls were made of smooth limestone bricks rather than mossy cobblestone, and the floors were similarly made of neatly arranged tiles, albeit somewhat cracked. There were still remnants of shackles and chains in some places, and torches burning in their holders, but the ever present dripping from the upper levels was absent. It was dead silent, except for a light skittering sound. A search of their surroundings yielded two of the Grim Caps that Root Rum described and a note. Twilight read the note out loud, but Spike had to hold it for her as she was too exhausted to perform basic levitation.

Watch out for spiders ahead. They are venomous, speedy, and intelligent to boot. Especially watch out for their web attacks. If you get caught, you better have a knife handy to cut yourself out. Listen for the scratching of their legs on the floor.

Root Rum

Suddenly, the skittering sound they were hearing made a lot more sense. Spike dropped the letter out of fear, but Twilight reassured him, "Don't worry, Spike, I've dealt with spiders before. Nothing too big to handle could fit in these tunnels." She neglected to mention that she hadn't been able to fight off the spiders, and only Pinkie Pie's quick thinking was able to save them.

As the prisoners traveled down the dark hallway, lit only by the torches on the walls, they thought they could hear the sound of spiders getting louder. They decided to take a rest in the first small alcove they found. The four sat down in the darkness, with Iron Will and Spike pulling out snail slices and the ponies each taking one of the group's two Grim Caps out of their sacks. As they ate, they discussed their plan for the upcoming spider fights.

"Iron Will thinks we should attack the head," Iron Will proposed. "If you want it dead, go for the head!"

"Uh, I dunno about ya'll," said Big Macintosh, "but I ain't too keen about puttin' mah hooves anywhere near those poison fangs. We ain't even got a lick o' antivenom!"

"Um, guys," Spike mumbled.

"I'm afraid I won't be able to do much," Twilight admitted. "My magic probably won't come back for at least a day or so. All I could do is spear them with my horn. And only as a last resort."

"Guys," Spike spoke louder.

"I think we should try to immobilize them. They can't attack us if they can't move," Twilight suggested.

"Guys!" Spike exclaimed

"We could blind 'em by throwin' some cloth over their heads. All them eyes can't see nothin' through a burlap sack!" Big Mac said.

Spike took a deep breath. "EVERYPONY SHUT THE BUCK UP AND LISTEN!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, echoing through the dungeon.

The other three stunned by the outburst, Spike continued. "There's stuff in the alcove on the wall behind Iron Will."

Iron Will, too shocked to respond verbally, turned around. Indeed, there was a full bag of something behind him. It was so dark that only Spike had been able to spot it with his slitted dragon eyes. The minotaur reached up and grabbed a burlap sack identical to the ones they were carrying. Dumping it out on the floor, they found a mortar and pestle, a piece of paper with recipes scrawled on it, a few herbs, and, much to Iron Will's delight, a sharp double-edged battleaxe with a spear point on the end and a sturdy metal handle.

As Iron Will played around with his new weapon, feeling the weight of it in his hands and giving it a few practice swings, Twilight read the potion recipes.

Antivenom:

Grind the rind of one snake fruit together with an equal portion of raw snail meat. Mix with water before consuming. Cures most types of neurotoxic venom, including the weapon venom below.

Weapon venom:

Grind an entire snake fruit together with a half-portion of tar root. Should resemble a thick paste. Apply liberally to any bladed weapon.

Note: Because this is a venom, it is only dangerous when inside the bloodstream. Consuming it is harmless, although strongly discouraged.

Energy potion:

Grind one tar root into a thin paste. Apply directly to the affected area. Restores strength to tired muscles and magic to depleted horns.

Twilight immediately prepared an energy potion from one of the roots Spike had found. She dipped her hoof in the mortar and applied a coating to her horn. Immediately, she felt magic surge through her, allowing her to levitate the mortar and pestle into her sack along with the recipe list and remaining ingredients.

"Shouldn't we prepare some antivenom?" Big Macintosh asked. "Ya know, just in case."

"And what do you propose we keep it in?" Twilight responded. "If we need it, we'll have to make it on the spot. I just hope we'll be able to find some kind of fountain or something nearby."

The four were talking so loudly, they hardly noticed the skittering getting closer. Spike's yelling had alerted the the spiders to the presence of intruders. The dark shapes approached the group. Eight legs... sixteen... twenty four... thirty two...

There were four spiders in all. Spike was the first to notice the huge arachnids approaching them.

"SPIDERS!" Spike screamed, immediately causing everyone to stand and prepare for battle. However, the spiders surprised them.

"PONIES!" the spider in the front yelled. He was a light gray, with a tuft of yellow hair on his head, and, curiously, the spider equivalent of a cutie mark on his abdomen. His "cutie mark" appeared to be seven small circles of varying sizes. There also appeared to be something wrong with his eyes, as they all pointed in different directions.

Looking over the other spiders, they were all the same dark brownish black, with longer, skinnier legs, and a multitude of red eyes.

Twilight's eyes, however, remained fixed on the gray spider. She could have sworn she'd seen him before...

"Hey, I remember you!" exclaimed the spider in a loud, oddly cheerful voice. He turned to his fellow arachnids. "It's OK, everyspider, these guys are alright."

More confused than relieved by the odd turn of events, Twilight scratched her head with a hoof.

The spider elaborated, "We briefly met when you were traveling through the Diamond Dog mine. Remember, you guys brought that troll to take away Errorgog?"

Twilight assumed Errorgog was the name of the enormous spider that had, along with many of his fellows, attacked her and her friends.

"Yeah, sorry about that..." Twilight apologized sheepishly.

"No need to be sorry!" the spider brightly replied. "He was a jerk! And after you got rid of him, I decided to travel and expand my horizons. Without your help, I wouldn't have found this awesome place! And these guys are alright. I'm Spidey, by the way."

Gesturing to each of the other three spiders, Spidey introduced them as well through a series of unintelligible clicks and scratching sounds.

"I'm Twilight Sparkle, and this is Spike, Iron Will, and Big Macintosh," Twilight said, pointing toward each of her fellow prisoners with a hoof. "It's nice to meet you, Spidey and... friends."

"The pleasure's ours! We thought you were going to attack us!" Spidey said. Spike's jaw dropped.

"The last pony to come through here just attacked us with no provocation. I guess he just assumed we were monsters like all the other inhabitants of Mt. Grimrock. Of course, it doesn't help that he didn't speak Spider. Out of everyspider here, only I know Equestrian. In fact, I'm the only spider I've ever known that can speak it."

"Really? And why is that?" Twilight asked.

"Funny story, actually, you see..."

"Iron Will hates to interrupt, but we are searching for a way out of this place."

"You want to leave? Sure! Just go up three floors. You should find a large hole in the ceiling. Just climb up the wall and you'll be out!" Spidey beamed.

Iron Will and Big Macintosh facepalmed/hoofed, respectively.

"Um, Spidey, we can't climb walls... Is there a way out below?" Twilight responded.

Spidey's smile slid off his face. His walleyes rolled around, as if trying to think of an appropriate response. "Dunno... none of us have been down there. Too dangerous."

Spike joined the facepalm party.

"So... you can't help us get out?" Twilight asked bluntly.

"Afraid not," Spidey answered.

"I see... Well then... We'll just go on our way then and leave you be. Thanks for the hospitality," Twilight said.

"No problem. We'll walk you to the door," Spidey said.

The four prisoners followed the four spiders down the hall to a staircase.

"Well, this is goodbye," Twilight remarked.

"I'll let the other spiders up ahead know to leave you guys alone. Good luck, everyone," Spidey yelled as the prisoners descended the stairs.

Author's notes:

The gray walleyed spider (It was the spider version of Derpy Hooves; it even had her cutie mark on its abdomen) is from the MLP:FiM comic issue #2. I included the spider in here because I really like the comics but nopony seems to pay any attention to them.

I know it took a long time to get this chapter out, but I went on vacation and classes started back up and I haven't been able to make time for writing. Don't worry, this fanfic isn't going to die anytime soon.


	9. Trolololo

Chapter 8: Trolololo

The four reached the bottom of the smooth tiled stairs. They were greeted by a large, strangely clean chamber lit by wall torches. A single pillar sat in the center of the room, strategically placed to reinforce the structure and prevent collapse. On the far wall was an empty alcove. They could see large wooden doors on either side.

Seeing no monsters, the four decided to check out the door on the left first, as it was the closer of the two. They found it secured by an iron keyhole, similarly to the one they had encountered earlier. An engraving next to it read: "All too often, one turns back only to realize that they were running circles around the obvious."

Twilight Sparkle thought hard on this. "It's a puzzle; that much is clear," she stated to the others.

"Well, the other door is fairly obvious," suggested Spike.

For lack of a better plan, the four headed over to the other door, only to find that it, too, was locked. However, rather than being made of iron, the keyhole was made of tarnished brass and didn't seem like it would fit the same type of key.

"Uh... now what?" asked Big Mac.

"Hmmmm..." Twilight thought aloud, pacing around as she usually did when in deep thought.

However, Twilight's pacing had been reduced to a short shuffle around the small distance her chains could afford. The clinking was driving Spike bonkers. He lazily followed Twilight around in circles with his eyes, trying to tune out the annoying sound. Around, and around, and around, and around... Wait...

"I've got it!" Spike suddenly piped up, startling Twilight and causing her to jump about six inches before the chains yanked her back down.

Without allowing Twilight or the others to respond, Spike continued: "Maybe we're supposed to run around in circles. I mean, the puzzle did mention running in circles."

"Great idea, Spike!" Twilight said, patting him on the head. "But then, what would the word 'obvious' be referring to?"

Spike, Iron Will, and Big McIntosh simultaneously pointed at the pillar in the center of the room and said, "That." They all went bug-eyed at the strange coincidence.

"Dudes, that's creepy," said Spike.

"Eyup," agreed Big Mac.

The four prisoners walked to the pillar and began to go in clockwise circles around it.

After the third pass, they heard a sudden "whoosh!" accompanied by a brief flash of light from the alcove at the north wall. Heading toward it, they found an iron key, which would fit the lock on the left grate. Gripping the key in his claws, Spike and the others headed to the keyhole. Spike slid the key into the lock and gave it a turn. Immediately, the wooden door rose, with the key permanently stuck in the lock.

All that lay beyond the door was a dead end filled with a strange, blue aura. Stepping into the aura, the group suddenly found themselves in an entirely new room, this one smaller and much brighter.

The prisoners' sudden entrance had somehow not alerted the resident zombie. The undead servant just continued staggering about in circles, its decaying jaw hanging low from its rotten face. In the ample light provided by the wall torches and the blue glow of the crystal in the corner, the zombie's features were easier to make out. Its dark outline stood out clearly against the light tan tiles that covered every surface of the room. Bits of brown and black tattered cloth still stuck to the stained green and black patches of hair, the remains of clothing or perhaps armor. Its gender was impossible to determine. What few teeth it had were a sickly yellow; its blackened dry tongue lolled limply over the slacked jaw. Its eyes were a pure milky white. There were no visible pupils in the filmy orbs.

The walking corpse had one ear missing, the bleached white skull visible underneath where it had fallen off. It also lacked a tail, though the previous zombies' tails had consisted only of a short, fleshy appendage with bits of hair on it. Its hooves were shriveled and cracked. The front right one bore the usual rusted blade; the parts not covered completely with the orange corrosion glinted a silvery gray in the ambient light. It appeared to be an earth pony, but it was also possibly a unicorn or pegasus with missing parts. Like all zombies, it appeared to have no cutie mark. What struck the group as most disturbing about this specimen is that the cutie mark did not appear to merely have fallen off along with decaying flesh. The dark indentation of a collection of strange symbols adorned both flanks of the zombie, cutting deep into the flesh.

What separated this mark from a cutie mark, aside from the fact that it appeared to be carved into the flank, was that it was not mirrored on opposite sides. The symbol bore the same shape and orientation on both sides of the undead creature. It seems that the cutie mark had been burned off, then the mark carved over the burns. The scar tissue on the surrounding area suggested that the burns were inflicted weeks or even months before death, but the mark itself looked postmortem. There was also an ornate brass key hanging from a string around its neck, most likely to open the door in the large chamber.

Satisfied with the unimpeded examination, Twilight whispered a signal that it was time to deal with the monster. Nodding in agreement, the four charged forward. Big Mac lowered his head, impaling the zombie on his spiny helmet. Iron Will dealt a powerful chop of his axe, slicing the creature's head off, but not before it slashed its knife across Big McIntosh's unarmored face, leaving a bloody gash between his eyes. The stallion's blood dripped down from the ragged wound, staining the light tiles with small splashes of red, like a leaky can of paint. He clenched his teeth at the fiery shot of pain that continued even after the damage was dealt.

After removing the key from the zombie's neck, the party began to search the room for anything of use. Big McIntosh staggered and fell. Checking his breathing, Twilight found he was still alive, but in critical condition.

"It burns, it burns..." he moaned deliriously, as Twilight took a better look at his injury. "Poison" she determined. "Their weapons must be poisoned."

Twilight's healing spell wasn't capable of handling poison.

"Could we make some antivenom?" Spike asked.

Suddenly, Twilight regretted letting Iron Will cook all their snail meat. She let out an exasperated sigh. "Well, at least we have the crystal over there. Let's hope it can resurrect ponies as well as it does for dragons."

"Iron Will has an idea!" the minotaur interjected, picking up Big Mac in his muscular arms. He lumbered toward the glowing crystal, dragging the other two along with him.

Placing the unconscious red stallion next to the magical artifact, Iron Will touched Big Mac's hoof to the object. Immediately, blue sparks breathed from the object into the pony, engulfing his body and brightening the room even further. The sparks surrounded his wound, closing it and mending it shut. Big Mac's eyes opened as he returned to consciousness, his strength and stamina fully restored.

"Hmmm... so the crystals can heal, too," Twilight mused. "Fascinating." She _really_ needed to get this technology back to outside world. The number of lives that she would save might somehow be able to make up for the life she took. Maybe...

Iron Will smiled at the fully head Big McIntosh, offering him a hand. "Get up guy, you didn't die!"

Grabbing Iron's hand with an outstretched front hoof, Big Mac was hoisted up by the strong minotaur.

Spotting a note lying next to the crystal, Twilight picked it up. The small roll of parchment was old and weathered, and looked as if printed by machine.

"Life Crystal: Restore your energy and life in a single touch! How to use: Touch the crystal while it is glowing to be filled with energy from the world beyond. Your purchase of the deluxe model will enable you to heal the severest injuries, and even reverse death itself*! Note: Product has a recharge time of approximately five minutes, depending on environmental conditions.

Within three hours.

Side effects may include: nosebleeds, stiffness, and an uncontrollable urge to break out into song and dance. If any of these effects last more than four hours, please get immediate alchemical help.

We do home installations! Call (rest of note is torn away)

Twilight was struck with confusion. A dead civilization had perfected the recipe for immortality? Then why was it dead?

Spike popped her thought bubble. "Are we done here, Twilight? Because I want to stop here for the night... or whatever time it is. It's nice and safe, _and_ it's next to a crystal."

"I'm fine with that. How about you two?" Twilight asked Big Mac and Iron Will.

"To do your best, get some rest!"

"Eyup."

Spike took note of some Grim Caps he saw growing in the corner. They would eat those tomorrow for breakfast. They removed their armor and equipment and placed it next to them, ready to grab it at a moment's notice. The four lay down next to the glowing blue crystal, allowing the white noise of its soft hum to lull them to sleep.

* * *

The four awoke several hours later, well-rested and ready for some more dungeon-crawling. The smooth tile floor was more comfortable than the bumpy, dirty cobblestones of the upper floors, but not by a lot. They stretched in unison, getting the cricks out of their limbs and necks. Big McIntosh donned his helmet and iron horseshoes, clanking them together to test for a proper fit. Twilight slipped on her thick vest while Spike checked the fitting on his leather armor and gave his knives a few practice throws. Iron Will, being a creature of modesty, had not removed his leather pants, so he just gave his axe a couple swings.

Spike lead his party over to the corner, picking the mushrooms and handing two to each. They actually tasted quite delicious raw, though they would taste much better in a fine soup prepared by a master chef.

A quick once-over of the room revealed a hidden button, Spike's now-rested dragon eyes eyes easily spotting it among the smooth marble walls. Pushing it, a wall panel raised up, revealing some goodies. Twilight got a wizard's hat, Big McIntosh some much-needed metal plate barding, and Iron Will a chainmail jacket. Spike was a little disappointed that there was nothing to fit him, but he did find something they all could use: two potion vials. Pulling out the recipe, Twilight mixed up some weapon venom for Iron Will with a half portion of tar root and whole snake fruit. He spread the thick paste on the edge of his battleaxe, giving some to Spike to put on his knives and to Big McIntosh for his helmet spines. By this time, Twilight had finished filling the two vials with fresh energy potion. She gave one to Iron Will and kept one for herself, sliding it into her bag. Finally, Twilight cast her regeneration spell.

Prepared for the dangers ahead, the group stepped back into the glowing aura, disappearing in a flash.

They reappeared in the large chamber from earlier, which was still empty. They crossed it without incident, sliding the brass key into the lock and turning it. The door opened, revealing nothing more than a stone wall with a partially unreadable inscription that read "Prepare your a_s, massive bu_t incoming."

Before they could attempt to guess what letters used to occupy those spots, a grating of stone followed by a massive roar caught the party's immediate attention. They turned around to face a huge behemoth, easily twelve feet tall. The two horns on his bald head curled angrily to face forward. His gray skin was calloused and scarred, his heavy muscles bulging grossly beneath. Standing on two legs, he clutched a massive stone hammer in one hand, and wore nothing save for a dirty, tattered loincloth and broken, rusted manacles around each limb, which clanked together as he growled. The cave troll bared his horribly rotten and crooked teeth as he snarled at the four prisoners.

"Toys?" Twilight suggested with an equal measure of hope and desperation.

Unfortunately, not every troll was as friendly as Jim. The hulking creature charged at the group full force. Unable to sidestep in time, Iron Will was struck by the huge monster, sending him flying... right out of his shackles. His legs remained chained to Big McIntosh and Twilight Sparkle, severed by the brute strength of the troll. The lifeless corpse smacked hard into the tile wall with a sickening thud, the poisoned battleaxe clattering uselessly beside it. It was up to just three now.

The troll smashed into the far wall, knocking bits of stone and dust from the ceiling. It turned around slowly to face the three prisoners; its blood lust would clearly not be sated until all four were dead.

Spike was the first to strike, hurling his poisoned knives at the troll's fleshy torso. They stuck right in the center of his chest, but they were like bee stings to the massive monster.

Twilight charged her horn and unleashed a fireball that blasted the creature... with no effect. Apparently, they were huge _and_ fireproof.

The giant beast charged again, the group stepping sideways to avoid his path, with Iron Will's severed legs trailing blood behind them.

"I don't think he can change directions while charging!" Twilight yelled as they dodged another attack. "Hit him as he passes by!"

Big McIntosh heard her words, delivering a strong buck during the troll's next charge. The cave troll, too stupid to change its strategy, continued to run by as the group continued to dodge the obvious attacks in the open space, with Big Macintosh delivered blow after bone-crushing blow. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the monster finally fell, its legs completely pulverized by Big Macintosh's powerful iron-shod hooves.

It wasn't dead, however. It continued to wail and cry in pain, trying to drag itself toward the group. Twilight levitated Iron Will's fallen axe with her magic, and brought it down upon the flailing troll's thick neck. Once, twice, three times... the troll's skin was incredibly thick... but finally, a massive sucking sound as the monster's windpipe was cut. Twilight gave a final, mighty swing, and the head chopped right off, rolling across the floor. The troll's massive hammer fell mightily to the floor as its thick blood poured from the neck, pooling around the corpse.

"Well, that's that, I guess," remarked Twilight Sparkle, floating the axe over her head along with Iron Will's limp body. "Come on guys, we need to get him to the crystal, quickly."

Spike and Big Mac simply stared at Princess Celestia's formerly favorite student. Only a week ago, she had been studying, helping out her friends, laughing... Now, here she was, deep in a dungeon, covered in blood from a living creature she had brutally killed without giving a second thought. Even if they did make it out of Mt. Grimrock... what would they lose in the process?

Author's notes: Holy guacamole, this thing took a long time to get out. I've been really busy lately, and every time I thought about writing the new chapter, I got distracted. Truthfully, I was sitting on the first few pages for the last few months, I've just been putting off finishing it. But I'm going to stay true to my word in the last author's note and keep this fanfic alive. In addition, because of my love of finding references to outside things in fan-fictions, I think it would be a good idea to start listing all the references I make in the author's notes.

The name of the chapter (Trolololo) is NOT referring to the long date before release, it is simply because it contains a troll, and I like to have titles that make sense. I named this chapter long before I fully wrote it. Though I admit the name is rather fitting...

"Dudes, that's creepy." Line from Owl's Well that Ends Well ssn1ep24, only with "Dudes" instead of "Dude".

The zombie's "cutie mark" is actually a set of runes from Grimrock's rune-based magic symbols, clockwise starting at the top: life, physicality, death, balance. AKA a resurrection spell, life to bring the physical body of a dead corpse, and balance to keep it between life and death. That combination of runes has no effect in the game.

"Side effects may include: nosebleeds, stiffness, and an uncontrollable urge to break out into song and dance. If any of these effects last more than four hours, please get immediate alchemical help." is a pretty obvious reference to Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, etc.

"They actually tasted quite delicious raw, though they would taste much better in a fine soup prepared by a master chef." is a reference to the description of the Grim Caps in LoG, which reads: "A delicious mushroom commonly found in damp underground caves. The legendary Master Chef of Nothampton Palace values them highly as an important ingredient in his finest soups."

"Prepare your a_s, massive bu_t incoming." originally read "Prepare your axes, massive burly beast incoming." not anus and butthurt. Don't have such a dirty mind.


End file.
